Cheeseclan
by Miragestar
Summary: Wow ... I was eleven when I wrote these two chapters. Come come if you enjoy stupid stories that feature ... cheese?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: My attempt at humor. Firepaw finds some cheese and when he shows it to the clan they turn into cheese addicts, even changing their name to Cheeseclan and changing the warrior code. Utter randomness! Takes place in Into the Wild, but it will progress.**

**It's my first story so don't expect much. Review and tell me what you think! :)**

**I DON'T own Warriors, unfortunately. **

**Miragestar**

**Chapter 1: The cheese!**

"What is it?" murmured Bluestar, staring at the yellow thing Firepaw had brought into her den.

"Cheese…" answered Firepaw, poking it with one of his claws.

"Can I… Can I taste it?" asked Bluestar, staring at the yellow cheese with her hungry, blue eyes.

"Sure, Bluestar…" Firepaw answered, and stepped back to let his leader taste the cheese. Bluestar stepped up carefully, let out her tongue, and swallowed the whole thing. She chewed slowly, and then meowed, "Yumm! It's better than Starclan!"

Clouds covered the sky.

Graypaw screeched from the entrance of the den, "You call that tasting?"

Bluestar whirled around. "Shut up!" she yowled. Turning around to face Firepaw, she meowed, "Firepaw… Bring me some more of this 'cheese'"

Firepaw nodded and stepped back from Bluestar, who had cheese smeared on her face.

"Wait." She snapped. Firepaw stopped. "Firepaw, if you don't bring back more cheese, you will be banished from Thunderclan," she meowed quietly so Graypaw wouldn't hear.

Firepaw turned tail and ran, bumping into Graypaw outside the den. "So?" the gray tom meowed, "We didn't get to taste any cheese!"

Firepaw bowed his head, "We will taste some, Graypaw. Bluestar told me to get some more cheese, or I'll be banished from Thunderclan."

Graypaw stared for a second and then meowed, "Hope you don't find any cheese!" he quickly ran away to the apprentices den.

"…"

**5 minutes later…**

"WHERE IS MY CHEESE!?" yowled Bluestar, dashing from her den.

"Banish Firepaw!" screamed Graypaw from the apprentices den. Yowls of agreement came from camp.

Bluestar blinked. "No, Graypaw. No. We will not banish him," she paused, "WE WILL KILL HIM! Lionheart, get the reinforcements!"

"We don't have any…"

"GET THE WARRIORS YOU PIECE OF FOX DUNG!" snapped Bluestar.

Just as she yowled that, Firepaw entered the camp, cheese hanging from his mouth.

"Cheese!" purred Bluestar, attacking the ginger tom.

"Can we try some?" asked One-eye from the elder's den.

"No." Bluestar answered, pinning Firepaw on the ground.

"Yes." One-eye snarled.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"NO!"

"YES!" Bluestar meowed, and then realized her mistake.

"She said yes, get the cheese!" Lionheart yowled.

The cats attacked the cheese. Finally, everyone got a piece of cheese, Bluestar the biggest, except Firepaw.

"It… IT TASTES GOOD!" purred Dustpaw.

"I love it!" Halftail was rubbing his cheek on the cheese.

"Its better then my kits!" purred Frostfur.

"I WANT MORE!" An outraged Ravenpaw shouted, yellow highlights in his fur.

"Firepaw," Bluestar meowed, "Dear, dear, Firepaw. Show us where you get the cheese."

Firepaw blinked in surprise, and flicked his tail for everyone to follow. The whole clan followed Firepaw as he exited the camp, their eyes hungry for cheese.

Firepaw led them to Twolegplace, and jumped onto a fence of some kind of large Twoleg nest. Everyone on the ground was the cheese, its delicious smell wafting to the cats.

Bluestar jumped down and started devouring the cheese. All the cats followed, throwing Firepaw off to land with a crunch of his face on the ground.

The Thunderclan cats quickly gobbled up the cheese. Bluestar straightened up, purring.

"MORE! MORE!" screeched the Thunderclan cats. They turned to Firepaw.

"I don't know how to find anymore!" Firepaw said.

"ATTACK THE NEST!" commanded Bluestar, and the cats attacked the door. When it opened and a female Twoleg came out, the elders attacked her while the rest of the cats ran into the nest. Firepaw followed wearily, watching One-Eye claw the Twoleg's butt.

The Twoleg nest was roomy, and he just saw the tip of Mousefur's tail vanishing through a door. Firepaw peeked inside, and saw Brindleface and Tigerclaw attacking a male Twoleg. The rest of Thunderclan vanished, and he heard the elders give a triumphant yowl, and Dappletail dashed inside, followed by Halftail. Firepaw followed them, until he could smell the sharp tang of cheese. He entered a large room, where all the cats were gathered.

Everyone on the floor was cheese. Even on the walls were pieces of cheese. Goldenflower was rolling in the cheese, while Speckletail was jumping in it. Here was the chance for Firepaw to eat some cheese!

But to no avail. Lionheart trampled on Firepaw, sending him falling to the floor with another crunch.

* * *

**It shall be continued.**

Cats sure are mean to Firepaw!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 of Cheeseclan**

**Yes I'm still continueing it despite the fact that no one likes it, ok well two people... And in replies to the reviews, I say: I love cheese, and I thought it would be funny to do a story where the Warriors find cheese, since after all, it does taste good, and why woudn't they like it? And in this story the cats are supposed to be mean to Firepaw, even the nicest warriors, because it's more funnier (In my opinion, don't FLAME that it is not funny, because I don't care.) And please don't be mouse brained and put twenty bad words into a review. **

**And who cares about the negative comments, I sure don't!**

Miragestar

**Chapter 2:**

Firepaw warily got up from the floor, his face feeling as smushed as a prune, and blinked his eyes at the bright light that was shining on him. The Thunderclan cats were all gathered around the yellow dessert, facing Bluestar.

Bluestar was standing over the last hunk of cheese, her tail bristling and her fur smeared with cheese. The Thunderclan cats closest to her bared their fangs and unsheathed their claws, their eyes narrowed.

"What, what's wrong?" Firepaw asked, walking slowly over to his clanmates.

"Hush!" whispered Patchpelt, his black and white fur pressed close to Smallear's.

"Give us the last piece of cheese!" rasped Runningwind.

Firepaw blinked in suprise and stared at Bluestar as she began to speak, her voice echoing around the quiet den, "Stop being mouse brained!" She spat. "If we eat all of the cheese here, were will we find anymore?"

"Firepaw!" yowled Goldenflower, her one kit, Swiftkit, bouncing around with his tail held high.

"Are you deaf?" Bluestar growled, "He told you he couldn't find anymore!"

All the Thunderclan cats turned to the ginger tom, their eyes burning into him. "Is this true?" Whitestorm asked.

Firepaw hesitated, he could feel the tips of his fur growing hot, "Y-Yes."

Darkstripe stepped up and padded to Firepaw, his pale blue eyes narrowed with hate. "How dare you?" he meowed quitely, "How dare you find us cheese, make us addicted to it, and not know where to find anymore!"

Darkstripe jumped up, and bowled Firepaw over. They tussled on the ground for a moment before Bluestar yowled, "STOP!"

Firepaw threw up Darkstripe and stepped back as he threatened to attack again. Bluestar yowled again and he stopped halfway to the ginger tom, lashing his tail in annoyance.

"Now, he doesn't know, so anyone tell me, how will we find anymore?" Bluestar meowed, her blue eyes searching her clanmates.

"What do you suggest?" Lionheart meowed.

Bluestar cocked her head at her deputy and answered, "We take this cheese back, find how to make it, and make our own!"

The answer spread through the den like a fire, until everyone was nodding. Tigerclaw and Lionheart stood up from their places and crept toward the cheese, until Bluestar let out a paw and stopped them from coming further.

"No." She meowed, "The cats I trust will carry the cheese."

"But I'm your deputy, trust me!" Lionheart meowed desperately.

"No, Firepaw come here."

Firepaw walked to Bluestar, and she flicked her tail at the hunk of cheese, "Don't it eat, or else." She warned.

Firepaw grabbed the cheese with his paws, unlike any other cat, he wasn't addicted because he hadn't tried it. Bluestar came from the other side, and the two cats slowly carried the cheese, following the other cats as they left the room. As Firepaw came near the door of the den, the female Twoleg started to twitch. He unsheathed his claws, and held out one of his paws as he went out the door, clinking his claws together.

As they came to the fence, Firepaw looked out how high it was, "How are we going to get it up there?"

"Let me stand on you." Bluestar meowed, grabbing the cheese with her teeth. Firepaw muttered, "I'll have back pains," before kneeling down near the fence. Bluestar got on and he felt like he would die from the weight. Suddenly the wieght lifted and Firepaw looked up. Bluestar was watching him from the top of the fence, her whiskers twitching, "Get up, will you?"

Firepaw slowly jumped up on the fence, his back screaming for rest. He jumped down, and when Bluestar jumped on his back again, he crumpled up.

**Sorry it ended badly. **


End file.
